Let’s take a moment to talk about boundaries. I don’t know about you, but this subject is definitely one of my weaker areas. I often get manipulated and ran over because I don’t know how to set personal boundaries for myself. It’s the sad truth. People can and will take advantage of you, if you have no consistent boundaries placed. This also allows for the wrong kinds of people to enter your life.
During this lesson, I had to take a hard look at myself. Because I have a hard time saying “no” to people for one reason or another. I also have zero self-esteem and that’s because I’ve let others define who I am for far too long. I’ve made the decision, and I hope that you will make it with me, that now is the time to start putting my foot down. Now is the time to change. Because if I don’t make this change…it may end up costing me big in the end.
The main purpose for setting new boundaries is for protection. And by protection, I mean of your time, space, emotions, values, energy and anything else that is important to you. We have learned that others will try to punish us for having boundaries in place, which creates fear and holds us hostage to our emotions. But, we shouldn’t be so concerned with someone else’s thoughts and feelings that we end up being controlled by them.
Learn your limits. Set them in stone. Don’t compromise yourself for the sake of anyone else. I keep repeating this over and over to myself as I try to become a stronger person. If I have time, I’ll get to it. If I don’t have time, the world isn’t going to stop turning just because I wasn’t able to. That’s how I have to look at things right now.
And rather than wasting your time and my energy. If you’re interested in boundary setting-what it is and why it’s important-please view the two sheets I have linked below. I strongly encourage that you look into it and to participate in the boundary setting exercises. I have to learn to say “no”…and that saying “no” is just fine…
keepinghealthyboundarieshandout
If you think you have good boundaries in place, don’t worry…I did, also. But, after further investigation I found that I’ve only been hurting myself in the long run. I was inconsistent and a pushover. Both are negatives in terms of boundaries. I had set unhealthy limits. If you skipped over the part above, where the worksheets were available to you, please don’t skip over this. Below are signs that you have unhealthy boundaries in your life and that they need to be changed.
Personally, I think I’ve fallen victim to at least one from each of the groups in the above photo. It’s not that I did it on purpose, I didn’t even realize it until I was reading the list in group. If you find that you fit into any of the above categories, please scroll back up and work on setting new boundaries for yourself. You’re the only person that can do anything about it.
If you have any questions or thoughts, please feel free to share them with me. I’m always willing to hear what others have to say. I’m also open to giving perspective and/or advice on the matter. But, I will not make any decisions for you. You have to be accountable for that.
I hope that you got something out of this, as I did. Remember, you’re no good to anyone else if you don’t put you and your own needs first.
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